Slipping away
by Raigon
Summary: (Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood story) Every night you go to sleep, I watch you as you rest. Each night you grow a little taller, a little stronger, while I stay the same. Every day together, with me not aging one bit, I know I am watching you live and at the same time I know you are dying as well. Brother, I don't want to be left alone. Alphonse's mind wanders at night.
1. Chapter 1

Day 1: Overlooked

The day it happen, I awoke in a world of brown, black, and red. The house, the same wooden coloration, splash with your red ... made everything unrecognizable ...as I tried to look past your blood stains. The largeness of hands was forgotten in that fear, I should have been trembling as I looked to my side, but, my new body remain solid and still. It is then I realize my foreboding in the pitch darkness. I see you curl on the floor, and I realize my heart ...wasn't beating. That everything in the world stopped, as I rush to your aid, and I think somehow in that moment...my mind blocked out the fact that even after the horror was past ...when the world around me started again ...I remain the same, still and unmoving.

Our mother is gone brother ...I knew that, we both did.

We reached for the heavens and landed in hell.

I managed to get you to help that night, the blood you lost was massive. We couldn't take you to the hospital, the tell-tale sign of our transgression was more of a death sentences than the injuries that pool your blood on the floor. We would have to endure, you and I.

It was the first night I would spend awake and alone ... you were healing in the room next to me, and I guarded the door. I had been told to go upstairs and go to sleep, but I wouldn't go. I wouldn't ...couldn't simply go to sleep like nothing happen ...I didn't want someone to wake me up and tell me ...you were gone. Thus, I sat my vigil. Hoping if I guard at least the door, I could keep death from coming and taking you away. I could prevent you from leaving me alone.

At first, I had company in my vigil, Winry and the dog, Den, but as the night wore on ...soon it was just Den and me. I couldn't blame Winry for falling asleep, afterall, she had helped save your life while all I did was sit outside your door and worry. Thus, I watched her curl on the floor, a blanket from Aunty Pinako drape over her, and one was drape over me.

"It's just you and me, Den."

The words were meant to give me comfort.

Yet, as time continued to tick, and Den curl up against my cold side and went to sleep ...the comfort soon turned as cold as I was. With no one else awake, my mind began to wander as I went over what had gone so wrong, and it was the first time that the blank came. The first time I realized something was missing.

What had happened?

The before was there and the after, but there was no memory of the actually disaster.

Shock.

I told myself, it was simply shock and trauma from everything that happen that wipe my memory blank.

I tried to calm myself down and sew the tatter end of my memory together.

Though the gap was too wide and there was too little to work with.

Daylight would chase away the shadows ...before I realize, I hadn't gone to sleep. I had made it through my vigil, and the relief that you were still there kept me from focus on the fact ...that I wasn't even tired.

It hid the fact a little longer, I no longer could sleep.

Day 1 - finished


	2. Chapter 2

Day 2 - Curiosity

In the day light everything that had happen in the night became clear.

The rain and my desperation hid just had bad things were.

My brother was missing his arm and leg, and I my entire body.

Though, my lost was greater, it wasn't worst. I hadn't bleed, he had, and though my life had been altered it was no longer in danger. My brother's life was and if I had any doubt of how badly he had been as I wash the trail of blood away ...I could not denial what I could see. His blood trail ran from the outside the door thru two rooms, and into the place he now rest.

It was a huge mess to clean up.

It was the least I could do.

The second day awake ...I expected at some point to feel myself lag in some way, for the intensity of the day prior to wash away and for my body to feel the strain, but, I felt nothing. Nothing at all, as I reach to pick up a glass of water, and watches as the glass shatters in my hand. I don't know how I got my brother here without harming him, but one thing was clear, my fine motor control was off. I was a danger like I am, and thus, I did the only thing I could at that moment be trusted with. Though as time pass and I realize I didn't hunger other thoughts came to mind.

Though everyone had breakfast, and later ...as I wonder the house alone, dinner.

I couldn't help asking myself.

What exactly am I?

A suit of armor was obvious the first time I looked in the mirror, but what else? I would have asked my brother this question, but he was in a delicate state at that moment. It wouldn't do any good to stress him out ...as I raised my head the first time from my body. Curious about what I would see within, or even if without my head I could see.

The vision was a bit disturbing. I could see without my head, and what was inside ...was nothing.

I don't know why I imagine, I would see a ghostly version of myself within. I think I rather had seen that, then to know that there was nothing there at all. No one, nothing, I was metal that moved all by itself, and I felt myself shudder with a clank.

For there was no one within, that meant, something that I didn't want to think about last night.

There was no one to sleep, and no one within who would eat.

I was completely hollow.

Brother, what am I?

Finally night came again, and my brother whimper in the night. His nightmares so real and vivid to him, that everyone rushed to his side, except for me. I stay out in the hallway, my new body too clumsy, too dangerous to be in a room that was set up to preserve his life.

I envy my brother that ...in that moment, even though his dreams were horrible, at the very least he could dream. At the very least, he could be trusted to go wild, and harm nothing more than himself.

I couldn't say that much ...for a body made of metal was anything other than gentle.

Thus, I came to the conclusion, something that I already knew ...that I would never sleep again, at least not in this form. Though there was things I could do in the meantime, things to make sure, that next time ...he cried out I could enter that room.

While the world rest, while I tried to figure out what I am ...I would sneak out into the night.

I would train.

I would train my body to work right, my mind to gauge my actions, and so that I would no longer be so clumsy, I practice simple things ...like picking up delicate things.

I trained ...because I couldn't sleep.

I trained, because, I couldn't stand being so helpless.

Day 2 - Finished


End file.
